I'm here and I'm ok graphicSo in the times of the virus… a story of leaning into my feelings. Whatever they are.

A couple of friends and I in my area have decided to be of support to one another and share that we are making a run to a supermarket or Costco or whatever and to ask if they need something. Yesterday, one of my friends asked if I could pick up something for them and I was happy to do it.

I sent a text to the friend to let them know I had left the item on their porch and had backed away so we could say hello socially distanced.

The door opened and… I really didn’t have any idea how deeply this would affect me.

We both did a little jump up and down of disappointment we couldn’t hug.

We visited for a bit and it was just nice to see them and chat.

We said “see ya later” and I got in my truck and drove home. My heart hurt.

I asked for many hugs from my husband throughout the day.

I cried.

Seeing my friend brought home many things to my heart: how much I missed them, how much I love them, and how much I wanted to hug them! <3 And not just this friend… all of my friends, my gym-mates, family…

So, I reached out to one of my cousins and shared the experience and she held the space with me and we shared how much we loved each other’s hearts and how we love and appreciate others. I shared that I’m really leaning into the feelings, whatever they are… and being ok with them, whatever they are.

Ultimately, the bottom line is this: humans are social creatures and no matter how tough we are, there’s something that will deeply and profoundly touch our hearts, as this experience did to me. And we have to be aware of it and, I think, allow it to work its magic in us because there is a gift in it.

It reminded me of a practice I learned and used regularly during my 2-year period of grief… when I would feel overwhelmed or heartbroken:

I’d take a deep breath
put my hand on my heart
connect with myself and
take a moment with God…
and say, “I’m here and I’m ok.”

And I tell people I love them.

So if you’re reading this right now, I love you.


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